Duties of a Location Manager

When I was working on movies, the question I received most often was, “what does a location manager do?”  The following humorous account is based on my personal experience as a location manager.  Credit goes to Ralph Alderman for his original story in the Spring, 1991 issue of “Locations”.  I borrowed his idea and changed it to reflect my own “day in the life”.
 
 
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A LOCATION MANAGER
 
 
In the interest of saving space, most of the mundane and day-to-day trivia that occupied this location manager’s day was deleted.
 
1:37 a.m.         1st Assistant director telephones, obviously intoxicated. Rambles for about 17 minutes about schedule change he really can’t remember but knows he has to talk about to you.
 
4:13 a.m.         Alarm goes off.  Try to figure out if you can hit the snooze button twice and still make the location, a distance of 41 miles, by 5:15 a.m.  Hit snooze once and take shorter shower.  Inconsequential, you won't be sleeping with anyone until this movie ends anyway.
 
4.28 a.m.         Your assistant calls.  During the night someone slashed all four tires on her car.  She would take a cab, but the police are holding her for questioning along with her entire apt. building.  You’ll have to open the set without her.
 
4:30 a.m.         Slam front door and race to car.
 
4:51 a.m.         Reach freeway off ramp.  Stomp hell ouf of accelerator only to realize the guy you’re going 93 mph with is a highway patrol.
 
4:52 a.m.         Patrolman gives you a lecture.  You give him your autograph.
 
5:12 a.m.         Arrive at set.  Driver captain has 6 trucks, 2 honeywagons and a pickup parked in the middle of a residential street, blocking everyone who lives there.  Drivers hunched around catering truck, oblivious to vigilante group forming at the end of the block.  Catering truck is set up in parking lot of small businessman, to whom you swore there would be no film vehicles in his lot. 
 
5:13 a.m.         Location manager politely asks the driver captain for other members of his gang to move their trucks to the curbs, as stated on permit.  Drivers ignore you and continue eating breakfast.  Nothing moves.
 
5:17 a.m.         Vigilante group moves toward equipment.  First person they happen upon is the caterer’s assistant who doesn’t speak English, but knows how to point at location manager.  LM grabs the nearest trashcan lid for protection and a bag of money in preparation for discussions.
 
5:24 a.m.         First policeman arrives; ignores vigilantes and heads for catering truck. Something about hot cakes.
 
5:30 a.m.         Director arrives.  Changes shot from what was originally discussed.  Wants to know where LM is; could we set up an outdoor café next door? No problem – property owner is right here in the vigilante group, saving you the hassle of waking him up!
 
5:45 a.m.         Sprinkler begins morning cycle.  Everyone demands LM address fountain hosing down the bagels and cream cheese.  Funny – location owner swore they didn’t have automatic sprinklers!  Turns out they belong to the neighbor – they’re just set for 50’ jets!
 
5:48 a.m.         Call assistant – aren’t they done with you yet?  She convinces you it’s taking longer than expected and promises to take a cab over as soon as she can.
 
5:50 a.m.         Homeowner complains LM never told him that company is going to blow the front door off his house.  LM agrees, because nobody ever told her either.  Homeowner wants more money and a nicer hotel to stay in.
 
5:52 a.m.         Atmosphere person inadvertently (yeah, right!) kicks sprinkler head off in neighbor’s yard.  LM will deal with it at a more civil hour.
 
5:55 a.m.         Special effects guy asks why LM didn’t tell them they needed a permit to blow off the door.
 
5:57 a.m.         Second police officer arrives.  Parks motorcycle in front of neighbor’s driveway and heads for the catering truck.
 
6:00 a.m.         Second assistant director wants to know where another phone is as he has loaned his to one of the extras.  Advise him he can use the one in the house, but by contract, no one else is allowed to use it.
 
6:02 a.m.         Second A.D. stations an extra at house phone (extra who miraculously arrived in the same car as the second A.D., and already has a silent bit, story point and wardrobe bump on her voucher before camera is even out of the truck).
 
6:10 a.m.         Call assistant again.  What can possibly be going on that you’re still being held up?  Turns out the policeman in question is cute, and coffee is being shared.  Threaten assistant with facial damage if she doesn’t wrap it up soon – but give her an extra 15 minutes to lock in a date.
 
6:12 a.m.         Extras are now lined up using the homeowners phone, his bathroom, and digging through the cupboards looking for sugar for their coffee.
 
6:13 a.m.         Violently eject extras from location.
 
6:14 a.m.         Locate first assistant director and ask him what changes he was talking about at 1:30 this morning.  First AD mentions they’re going to blow the door off the location and will need appropriate permits.  Ahhhh!
 
6:18 a.m.         Fire safety officer arrives.  Sees plunger in middle of street and follows the wires.
 
6:22 a.m.         Third police officer arrives.  Immediately finds LM and asks if there is anything he can do to help.  LM indicates he can shoot his two brother officers for all the help they’ve been so far.  Officer explains it is a violation of department policy to shoot brothers and meanders to catering truck.  He is a quick study.
 
6:25 a.m.         Fire safety officer wants to see the permit.  You explain about the permit. He explains about the permit.  Money changes hands.  Permit problems disappear.
 
6:27 a.m.         Director finds LM  - the camera angle has changed.  Now they’ll be seeing the entire street.  How hard would it be to move all the trucks?  LM quickly calls the city permit officer, waking him up, Explains that even though film parking signs went up well ahead of schedule, they are now obselete, and we’ll be parking anywhere we can fit the trucks.  LM goes back and tries to prevent a fight between the transportation captain and the director.
 
6:30 a.m.         Assistant calls.  Why the hell aren’t you on set?  After stammering and incoherent blather, admits to having a phobia about riding in cabs and begs for an alternative. Fine. You’ll get transportation to pick her up.
 
6:33 a.m.         Locate Transportation coordinator and ask if someone can pick up your assistant.  Sure, we’ll get right on it.  Where does she live?
 
6:35 a.m.         Unit Production Manager calls and wants to know why LM spent $164 for a scouting lunch last week.  He will not approve expense report.  “But that’s where the director wanted to go!”  UPM produces tape recorder playing his “I don’t care” loop.
 
7:01 a.m.         Major utility starts jack hammer and backhoe to repair gas leak down the street.  First AD screams at LM, why didn’t you check to see if there was utility repair going on today?  LM screams back that she DID check, and as of last night, there was no repair scheduled. First AD sniffs and says go buy them off.  Where the hell is LM’s assistant?   She should be doing this!  Um..she’s occupied elsewhere.
 
7:15 a.m.         After many calls to the utility company and some fresh greenbacks in the foreman’s hand, repair crew gets their own walkie talkie and agrees to stop working when the camera is rolling.  Whew!
 
7:16 a.m.         Call your assistant – where the hell are you?  Still waiting for a ride.
 
7:17 a.m.         Track down transporation coordinator.  Where is assistant’s ride?  He explains there’s a driver out picking up the key grip’s girlfriend, and they’ll swing by and get your assistant on the way back.  Wait, what about these twelve drivers sitting here smoking cigarettes?  Icy stare accompanied by “do I tell you how to do your job?” speech ensues.  Are you punishing her for the mistake on last week’s map?  Threaten coordinator with bodily harm if your assistant isn’t picked up within ten minutes.
 
7:20 a.m.         Assistant camera operator feels honeywagon is too far away from the set now that the trucks have moved (it’s 50’ away!), so relieves himself 2 feet away from several pre-schoolers who are waiting for the bus (with their mom).  She is obviously impressed and hustles her children away, muttering under her breath.
 
7:30 a.m.         Wardrobe needs socks for actor.  Where is the nearest open store?  Could you draw her a map?
 
8:01 a.m.         Office calls – where the hell are you?  There are six people waiting who need entrance to various locations.  Explain about assistant being detained, and promise to get to the office immediately.
 
8:12 a.m.         Finally, on the way to the office.  Beeper goes off – a 911 from the office. You’re on the phone with the permit office and have irate neighbor on hold.  Ignore beeper.
 
8:13 a.m.         Beeper goes off again.  Still a 911.
 
8:14 a.m.         Beeper goes off again.  Must be emergency.  LM frantically tries to negotiate permits and soothe irate neighbor.
 
8:15 a.m.         Finally call office.  What’s up?  Message:  second unit wants to squeal tires on Hennepin avenue eight days from now.  What kind of permit is necessary? 
 
8:38 a.m.         Arrive at office.  Grab first cup of coffee.  Message dated yesterday says producer wants to see you on the set first thing in a.m.  Funny, producer wasn’t ON the set first thing!
 
8:43 a.m.         Construction foreman stomps into LM’s office.  Due to schedule change, they must get into the mansion 3 weeks ahead of schedule and start repainting walls and tearing up carpet.  Explain that your contract clearly states the company can have access to the house only one week before shooting.  Foreman just shrugs and says the trucks are already parked outside of mansion. 
 
8:45 a.m.         Place call to mansion owner and pull out budget to see where you’re going to find another $20K to buy 3 extra weeks of mansion time.
 
9:01 a.m.         Councilman’s office calls re: neighborhood complaint.  One neighbor not disturbed sufficiently this morning to get out of bed like other vigilantes would like to be bought out as well.  Please handle.
 
9:02 a.m.         Start drawing map for tomorrow’s location.
 
9:10 a.m.         Call from permit office.  What the hell were you doing blocking the street this morning?  We weren’t.  Those people are lying – sort of.
           
9:15 a.m.         Sort through messages – sixteen irate neighbors from various locations, three businesses threatening to sue as filming will cause them to lose money, four from friends wondering if they’ll ever see you again, and one from your family reminding you they’re getting together for dinner tonight and you promised to be there.
 
9:27 a.m.         Try to organize paperwork from the past week to turn in to accounting.
           
9:30 a.m.         Irate homeowner calls from last week’s location.  Set department put nail holes in their window frames.  They threaten to sue.  LM asks how much it will cost to fix the problem.  Where’s that budget again?? Homeowner screams about woodwork being turn of the century and there is NO amount or repair that will restore it to its pristine original condition. Settle in for emotional negotiations.
 
9:44 a.m.         Producer calls from set.  Did you get the message?  Yes.  Then why the hell aren’t you here?  It’s first thing in the morning!  Get out here. Now that homeowner has spent the past 15 minutes telling you what scum you and your film crew are, he’s ready to settle on a price.  Whew!
 
10:00 a.m.       UPM calls LM into office.  $325 to sand, regroove, clean and stain 2200 sq. ft of oak flooring is highway robbery.  LM refrains from hitting UPM with desk lamp.  You’ll get back to him on this.
 
10:15 a.m.       Finally get a moment to use the restroom.  Accountant follows you. Do you have your expense report for last week?
 
10:19 a.m.       Phone has not rung for 3 minutes. Feeling like some work can actually get done.  Oh oh, it’s the mansion owner on the phone, wanting to know why there is an entire shop set up in front of her home.  Hunker down for a long and expensive negotiation.
 
10:29 a.m.       First AD calls.  Seems they’re right in a flight path for the airport.  I know, I know, I've been telling the director that for two months, but he wouldn’t listen.  Well, can you call the tower and take care of it?  We’re ready to roll film.   I’ll get right on it!
 
10:34 a.m.       Call top end catering company in town and order their best lunch for everyone in the control tower at the airport.

10:33 a.m.       Call the airport and begin the hilarious process of trying to get planes rerouted to another runway.
 
10:37 a.m.       Mom calls.  Wants to know if you can explain to her what you do in the movie business.  She doesn’t understand. I’ll get back to you mom.
 
10:42 a.m.       Production secretary asks where is tomorrow’s map?  We need it now. Still working on it – point out you need at least 5 minutes without interruption to complete it.   She mentions there’s an emergency on the set.  What is it?  Don’t know, but they want you there right away.  But finish the map first.
 
10:43 a.m.       Call assistant.  What’s the emergency?  She doesn’t know – she’s having breakfast at the catering truck and doesn’t see any emergency!
 
10:44 a.m.       Turn in map for tomorrow’s location and hit the road.
 
11:15 a.m.       Arrive at location.  Producer couldn’t wait any longer so he left.  What’s the emergency?  Can’t find it.  Swell.
 
11:16 a.m.       Business owner approaches with gleam in his eye and clenched fist. This one doesn’t want money – he wants someone he can verbally abuse.  Make a mental note to book a massage later – no, make that a therapy session.
 
11:20 a.m.       Director says he’s going for a drive while waiting for new setup. 
 
11:22 a.m.       Get a call from mother of preschoolers.  Did you know one of your crew was relieving himself in front of her children this morning?  No, sorry.  What can I do to fix the problem?  Mom thinks a trip to Disneyland for 4 would do the job.  Tell her you’ll check with the producer and get back to her.
 
11:25 a.m.       Director returns.  Can we build and shoot an outdoor café tomorrow at an entirely new location six blocks from here?  And will the real café next to it let us use their tables and chairs?  No problem!
 
11:29 a.m.       Call the permit office and tell them the good news about tomorrow. You both laugh.  Send your assistant to take down all the no parking signs for tomorrow’s scheduled location, and start notifying the new neighborhood you’ll be descending at dawn.  Call the office – forget the map you just gave them.  You’ll be back to draw a new one.
 
11:29.5 a.m.    Your assistant reminds you she doesn’t have a car.  Tell her to get one from transportation – wait, that could take hours.  Give her your car and head to the transpo captain yourself.  Maybe a car for LM will be a bigger priority?
 
11:35 a.m.       Stunt coordinator informs LM that they will need to do a driving stunt immediately after lunch.  What?  When was a stunt written into the script?  In the last ten minutes.  Oh, right.
 
12:00 p.m.       Lunch for crew.  LM opts to use lunch break to cancel tomorrow’s original locations, attempt to get tables and chairs from restaurant, harangue a permit for stunt sequence and wrangle a car for assistant. 
 
12:40 p.m.       Call comes in from one of the neighbors of last week’s locations. Seems lawn damages not apparent until now will require a complete new sod job.  Tell him you’ll get back to him.
 
12:45 p.m.       Councilman’s aide arrives.  Everybody points to LM.  Aide’s speech about how much councilman supports film industry – but not in this neighborhood – replicates similar oratory heard in 8 other neighborhoods  this month.
 
1:07 p.m.         Threaten transportation captain with bodily harm if assistant doesn’t have a car within the hour.  Take own car and head back to office.  Office calls en route. Producer is steaming.  Wants to see you RIGHT AWAY!
 
1:29 p.m.         Arrive in producer’s office.  Can you fix his parking ticket?  That’s all. Hole burnng in stomach settles down immediately.
 
1:31 p.m.         Begin working on tomorrow’s map.  Production coordinator is tearing her hair out.  Suggest she send the map out in a later run, and to wear a wig in the future.
 
1:47 p.m.         Map is done.  Accounting calls you in. Wants to know your precise estimated mileage for the next 3 weeks. 
 
2:45 p.m.         Assistant calls in – she still has no car and therefore can’t complete 32 of the 45 items on her list of things to do. 
 
2:47 p.m.         Call transportation captain.  Describe in detail how the entire transportation department will get the wrong maps one unknown day in the near future, which will make them all horribly late for their call, unless your assistant has a car in 3 minutes.  After a long silence captain concedes and hands over keys to one of the many rental cars.
 
3:08 p.m.         Construction coordinator phones.  Wants to know why the office building wasn’t open at 5:30 am even though he isn’t due there until tomorrow. If he’s ahead of schedule why doesn’t he clean up the mess in the barn we blew up weeks ago?  Icy silence.
 
3:15 p.m.         Call from second unit.  Ranch won’t let them in because we haven’t cleaned up barn mess from two weeks ago.
 
3:27 p.m.         Grips enthusiastically try to bend tree out of camera frame and break it.  Homeowner wants more money and his picture with female lead.
 
4:12 p.m.         Arrive back at set just in time to hear thunderous boom on the next block, which turns out to be “Music in the Park” series.  LM sends assistant to beg them to shut down but they want $3K to do so.  Write up a quick contract, send assistant back to get it signed.  Angry mob who came to see the band greets her.  She calls LM for backup. Much negotiating is required to soothe everyone.  Upon return to the set, gaffer announces they won’t have the scene lit for another hour, by which time the band would have been done and gone. 
 
4:55 p.m.         Head back to office to tackle the “I’ll get back to you on that” mountain.
                       
5:25 p.m.         UPM inquires why you are limping.  Your feet can’t hurt from just sitting around all day!
 
6:15 p.m.         UPM mumbles he’ll pay the $325 for damaged oak floor as he leaves the office.  Says LM looks tired.  You mutter something about too much to do and could use another assistant.  UPM suggests LM  make better use of time.
 
6:59 p.m.         Call from another location manager asking where there is a courtroom he can film.  Try the courthouse.  Good idea, thanks.
 
7:12 p.m.         Director wants you on set.
 
7:36 p.m.         Director wants to know if they can reschedule tomorrow.  He now wants to build an outdoor café downtown.  No problem!!
 
7:40 p.m.         Call permit office liaison at home and ask him if you can block off a major intersection downtown during rush hour traffic so you can build an outdoor café.  He laughs.  Forget about notifying anyone.  Start drawing map for tomorrow.  Since it’s too late for permits you’ll have to forge new ones.  Send assistant to collect today’s permits from the crew so you can conduct the criminal activity required to have permits for tomorrow.
 
8:11 p.m.         Back at office, you complete notes for things to do tomorrow.  Looks much like today’s list.  As you leave, you notice the office crew is looking pathetic.  Apparently no one has had time to shop for food.  You take pity on them and run to Lunds.  They are your friends for life.
 
9:15 p.m.         Stop for gas.  Try to clean some of the mess out of your car from yesterday’s scout.  For some reason, when on a scout, the muckety-mucks think LM’s car says DUMPSTER.
 
10:01 p.m.       Throw in a load of laundry and remove clothes from dryer that have been there for ten days.  Forget about putting them away – dump them in the “clean clothes” pile in the living room.  Listen to seven messages on your answering machine from your family berating you for missing the family dinner.
 
10:13 p.m.       Go to bed
 
11:02 p.m.       Phone rings.  It’s the owner of the café tables and chairs, obviously drunk.  Mumbles something about changing her mind and don’t bother showing up tomorrow for the props.  Take a deep breath and get ready for a long and laborious negotiation.  After 20 minutes, LM realizes she just wants someone to listen to her talk about her issues with her father.  Spend an hour playing therapist, but end up with the tables and chairs.
 
1:37 p.m.         First AD telephones, obviously intoxicated.  Rambles for 17 minutes about schedule change he can’t remember but knows he has to talk to you about.
 
 
An average movie shoots between 6 weeks and 3 months.  A location manager is usually on for twice as long as the actual shooting.  And yes, this is a typical day in the life of a location manager.