Just about a year ago, I went on a vision quest with several of my shamanic girlfriends. Even though we were traveling as a group, our journeys were quite private. I had many unusual and profound experiences that night. Perhaps the most profound for me was the observation and realization of something that has taken me until now to fully assimilate. I would like to share that story with you.

When I am on a vision quest, my experiences are a combination of visual images, thoughts or ideas, and random connections that come together to provide tremendous insights. This particular evening, receiving random bits of information over a period of several hours, I understood that being born into a 3rd dimensional experience on Spaceship Earth comes with one guarantee – that our survival will be assured. Our journey on Planet Earth comes with all that we may need for survival – our food, our shelter, our basic needs. The planet is designed to be abundant, to support our basic needs. As any gardener can tell you, when the earth is given any attention, it responds with tremendous abundance. (How I love when my friend Diadra shows me her garden and says, “these plants here are all volunteers”).

When I was a young single mom, I remember a summer when I had few resources. I was in court reporting school, living on a very limited income, and there was not enough money to make ends meet. I planted a small (6’ X 3’) garden in front of my apartment window. My brother took me to the stockyard, and showed me where to dig old manure, then helped me get it home and mulch it into my garden. My vegetables were enormous and wildly delicious. My daughter and I would walk down by the river each day, and gather wild greens for salads. We ate healthy and well that summer, free gifts from Mother Earth. As I look back, I see that I ate healthier that summer, when I had very little money, than I did many years that I was making a six-figure income.

As I recalled this summer on my vision quest, I saw that even though I had been taken care of (quite well I might add) by the Earth, my appreciation was also mixed with shame and guilt that I was poor. And I saw that I missed something important. I allowed the guilt and shame to keep me from feeling true gratitude that my basic needs were met. Here in the West, we see survival as failure. Somehow, living only with our basic needs met is a cause for shame. I have been pondering this pattern for months. And I see that this resistance to appreciating right where we are, having our basic needs met, may be the root cause of losing the abundance we once had. America is reflecting this pattern.

How many people do you know that have gone home to live with their parents just to catch their breath and start over? Yet they are scorned and ridiculed for living at home (you live with your parents? Ewww!). How many people do you know that have lost their jobs, and are being supported by their partner or family, yet cannot feel grateful and appreciative of that experience, because the shame of losing their job or the desperate need to get another drowns out the feeling of support? How many people do you know that are receiving unemployment, yet feel inadequate or guilty?

It has taken me nine months to process the information I received during that vision quest, and what I see clearly now is this: we must allow ourselves to feel truly supported at the most basic level of survival before abundance can return to our lives. Because if we reject the feeling of having our basic needs met, how in the world can we ever receive more? This theme has shown itself over and over this year; in sessions with clients, in casual conversations with friends, and in overheard coffee shop chatter. Always there is a striving to get away from survival. We overlook the fact that survival is a place to rest and rejuvenate, and to say, “yes, I receive with gratitude. I trust my needs will be met”.

So, please relax and take the next six weeks to enjoy, appreciate and fully integrate that feeling of being supported. This will build a strong emotional foundation, which will then attract abundance. Whether you are living at home with your parents, being supported by a partner, bringing home a paycheck you think is inadequate, or even being supported by a credit card loan, these are all experiences of having your basic needs met. Guilt and shame will erode your foundation. If you feel your supporting partner(s) will be angry that you are enjoying your so-called non-productive state, sit down and have a talk with them and explain the importance of getting this feeling grounded into your physical body. Explain that if you can spend a few weeks LOVING the feeling of being supported, the chances of you receiving what you need to move from survival to thrival will be much greater. And that when you are thriving, it will be your turn to help them if they need support. Take these six weeks to enjoy your time of support by doing something you enjoy, something you don’t allow yourself to do because you don’t have enough, or aren’t’ making enough, or feel guilty because the person(s) supporting you can’t do it – face your guilt or shame, and move into enjoyment. You will be healing a great scar in the human psyche.

Since my vision quest, there are two things I have found that have helped me undo this pattern in my own life. I have begun a gratitude mantra on my daily walks by the river. I start by saying thank you for having warm enough clothes to walk outdoors. Then I say thank you for having a roof over my head. A roof with heat. And food to eat each day. From there it is pretty easy to be thankful that I have clothes I LIKE to wear! And food I ENJOY eating. And then I remember that I have so much more – I have friends and family that I love dearly. I have 2 dogs who take me for walks every day. As I run through my litany of things to feel grateful for, I realize how incredibly wealthy I am. Even on the days when I don’t feel grateful for anything (and I have those days, believe me!) I am still grateful that I can feel at all. I know I am alive. And while I am alive, I am eternally hopeful.

The second thing I found that helps me is to get into the moment. I ask myself, “what do you need right now, today?” Not tomorrow, not next week, but simply right now, today. And you know what? 100% of the time, I already have what I need today. If I can practice being appreciative of having my needs met today, tomorrow seems to take care of itself magically. Hence my eternal hope!

On this longest night of the year, it is an ancient tradition to ritually die and be reborn. The ritual death was nothing more than a sinking into the arms of the Great Mother to be held, supported, and rejuvenated. I invite you to create a ritual death for anything that has prevented you from enjoying the feeling of having your survival needs provided for. And then sink down, feel your support, and breathe out that prayer of thanks. We have so much. For one night, let it be enough.

Happy Solstice!
Cat