SPRING EQUINOX NEWSLETTER

March 21, 2008

2nd half of spring (Feb 5 to May 6)
Element of Wood
Focus, action, commitment
Pressure

I wish I would have taken the time to read last year's newsletter a month ago - I might have saved myself some fretting time. I am going to reprint some of that information, then comment on this year's energy.

2007: "As you may recall from the last newsletter, February 5 is when we begin the season of Wood. Wood is about focus, commitment and action. Now, I don’t know about you, but I was looking forward to the season of action in a big way. As interesting as the Water months are, I admit the lack of focus that accompanies winter can be a strain for me. I long for the ability to jump into the next project and FEEL the energy pour through me, helping me achieve my goal. Yet this year, it felt like that watery lack of focus just kept going and going. I finally dug out my journals and started mapping the past 30 years to see what the energy was doing. Lo and behold, I realized I forgotten to take into account the six-month shift between the masculine and feminine energies.

Masculine energy is the side of us that focuses and moves towards something. It is precise, and loves speed, and action. It’s like the arrow leaving the bow – it wants to go straight to the target with no interruptions. Here in the west, we idolize masculine energy. We love the feeling of “getting things done”. It makes us feel like we’re accomplishing something, like we have value. The Feminine side of us is the attraction energy. It moves inward, drawing to us the results of our beliefs and feelings. We are less comfortable with that energy because we do not understand it as well, and its results are more subtle. Yet it has a six-month cycle that overlaps the beginning of the Wood element. The feminine cycle goes from fall equinox to spring equinox. The masculine cycle goes from spring equinox to fall equinox. Think of the vortex of a bathtub draining – six months it drains clockwise, six months counter clockwise.

Mapping my journals, I saw that the six-week period between the beginning of the Wood cycle (Feb 5) and Spring Equinox (March 21), was the final six weeks of the feminine cycle. Before we move into action, we need to draw in certain kinds of energy to support our forward launch. During these six weeks, we build up pressure. The pressure tests our physical structure. Can we support the actions we are about to take? Is the structure you’re currently living within providing the physical strength necessary for your success? Like a tube filling with water, the more integrity you have in your structure, the more pressure you can build up.

So, rather than taking action, we’re more or less is a holding pattern, filling our structure fuller and fuller, watching to see if our framework springs a leak". (end of 2007 reprint)

Now, this has been a very challenging winter for me. From November 6, the first day of Winter in the Chinese tradition, until today I have been struggling with illnesses. Brochitis, pneumonia, asthma, the flu - 2 days ago I was questioning just what exactly was my sacred agreement, and could I get out of it early?? It felt like I just could not heal. No sooner did I recover from one thing than another hit. I questioned everything - my health, my body's commitment to life, my beliefs in myself - everything!

I now see that what was going on for me was an inward sprial to release very old healing patterns. The lungs govern structure (beliefs), and about taking life in fully and completely. Several times this winter, I found myself back at my birth patterns, where I was resisting life and commitment into a physical form. Forced to stay in bed for weeks at a time, I had opportunities to consciously redo my birth experience and commit to physical manifestation. I admit that the first six weeks of this was interesting and I felt great about "doing" something healing. By last week, when the flu hit me again, I was ready to jump ship.

But what this last bout of illness showed me was how many beliefs I still carry about my body being weak and susceptible to "germs"; about my body betraying me every time I reached a state of strength I had been longing for, - in short, about how deeply buried are those insidious whispers that say "see, your body is weak, and not aligned with your spirit, and you can't trust it". After nearly six months of feeling at the mercy of various sicknesses, I was questioning that commitment to the physical. And that was the key. When I remembered that March 21 was the time of shifting back into the masculine energy of action; when I re-read that my physical integrity had to be strong enough to support the actions I will undertake, it all made sense to me. If, after all the work I have been doing, I still clung to beliefs about being a victim to my environment, and didn't trust my body to be my partner,I was going to have some serious problems ahead!

So this past week of flu was my last bit of checking in with these old beliefs. I recognized again the power of witnesses without judgement - I would call or email my sister and friends, whining and complaining about being sick yet again, and they would make the appropriate comfort noises without suggesting I do anything or change my view or.....they just listened. That expression - of how scared I felt about being sick yet again, how angry I was at my body, how much I doubted my own identity - that expression was the evolution of those fears back into belief.

So, I for one am embracing the shift in the energy, and trust that [once it gets above 50 degrees for more than a week], I will look back on this winter and say "thank you Mother Earth for helping me challenge the idea that my physical essence is anything less than magnificent". In a moment of synchronicity, a friend emailed a request for an article I sent him entitled "Gratitude for your Pain". I found it today, read it, and think it is highly appropropriate for this season's message.

So on this first day of the next six months of masculine energy, here's to your beautiful, physical presence on planet earth. Our bodies are ready to be our full partners in the dance of life. Let's meet under the full moon and boogie to wholeness.

Peace!

Cat